Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
