Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
