I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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