xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
