apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
