the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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