woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
