we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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