First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
