Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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