I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize