We're facebook friends in real life
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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