he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
