I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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