is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
