i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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