yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
