just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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