I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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