i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
