its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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