i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
