fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
