the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
