There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
