i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
