lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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