so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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