if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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