This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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