she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to make out with him forever
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
