I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
