the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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