i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
