I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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