im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize