so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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