So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she told me i tasted like america
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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