hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
