I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
