I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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