I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
