covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
