booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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