so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
