There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
