And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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