Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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