I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
