Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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