oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
