I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize