Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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