Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will be naked everywhere
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
These tits shall not be calmed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
