Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
