...so i touched it.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How's work?
Spinning.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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