$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
