Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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