All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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