I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
